In Love Until..

love, relationships and sacrifcies

Why the sky looked same all these years till yesterday and now it suddenly looks much bluer? The flowers are so attractive suddenly, why? Why did zits never bother you just so much before? Started splurging more on perfumes and lipsticks? How funny it is that you meet someone and suddenly there are changes in yourself and in the things you notice around. Suddenly, the world is so beautiful! Why?

Taking much more time than usual to dress up and day dreaming the romance throughout the mundane tasks you perform. That sweet blushy feeling of being liked by someone who you like a lot… Why is this feeling among the strongest? You no longer stay the same person after you fall in love. You either drown or rise in love, depends. On the partner and your receptivity to this subtly fierce emotion. Maybe, but then who can be so sure about things of love.

Haven’t done a thesis on love, but a mere outlook is enough to tell what I am telling you now. I have always felt very strongly that love is one of the best emotions to possess and it can blissfully lift you to a higher level of your own self. While rest of the world keeps sloganeering ‘Love Hurts, Love Hurts’, I stand by the understanding, love doesn’t hurt for sure. In fact, it is the feelings devoid of love that hurts (jealousy, disloyalty, manipulations, mindless confusions, ‘faqt havas’). Love makes you feel so special, whether it is about love for your work, your well-being, a partner, friend, etc. When being treated like a gem no one in the right mind will do things to fuck up that beautiful connection. So, it is important to ensure you deal with someone who has a right mind.

While falling in love is easy and almost passive activity, rising in love takes some efforts on the personal end and demands mindfulness from both partners’ end. For the spiritual lag that our generation holds, most of the times, we find love in the outer world way easily and earlier than we find it in ourselves. While there are many who change relationships faster than they change footwear, there are people who are scared to fall for anyone. For some, emotions are something to be shared with everyone and for some, emotions are sacred and needs to be treasured. In either case, when a right kind of connection is found emotions starts flowing out like never before. There is a comfort to share the darkest secrets, to share ideologies, form-deform habits and habits are directly proportional to the probability of succeeding earlier than later in life. So, if I put it straight, the weightage of a partner’s contribution in your success should never be overlooked. 

Even if an emotional approach towards relationship is more natural and tempting, you’ve got to undertake a practical approach to maintain that relationship in the long term without losing yourself in it. What does it mean? How does it even happen?

When in love, you naturally tend to give yourself away a lot to them. Some even keep their self-respect at the mercy of their partner. They feel obliged to believe in partner’s excuses and give 50 million chances. For so many, is not always about candle light dinners and bed of roses. Feelings such as worthlessness, trying to be someone else to keep holding partner’s attention, begging for basic communication, facing disloyalty and when confronted then being emotionally blackmailed to stay in relationship, etc. are just a few mistreatment some get in the name of love. Such people undoubtedly forget to be happy like before yet don’t walk away from this mess as they think hurt is a part and parcel of love. Even if all they get is endless pain and nights full of agony they call it ‘giving sacrifices for love.’

EYE OPENERLove doesn’t ask for sacrifices. Maybe a lot of adjustments, but not sacrifice. 

I reiterate, love doesn’t ask for sacrifices. Maybe a lot of adjustments, but not sacrifice.
Tbh, I find the term ‘Love Sacrifices’ very negative. When you sacrifice time and again, you can’t be happy. Being asked for a sacrifices isn’t what defines love. The right person will uplift you, not drag you down to a level where you no longer have the strength to walk with your chin held high. Maybe, you mistake attachment and being habitual to someone in the name of love. This is a major reason why so many gulp down the abuse and exploitation. To be in a relationship means to have a 24*7 available friend to talk to when in trouble, to have a human to share your energies with, to get intimate, to feel secure with. All this definitely doesn’t come free. You can’t expect to get all this while you’re being complete obnoxious or having a big castle of expectation from your partner. Getting my point? It takes efforts from both partners to keep each other growling and glowing in love. 

I am pointing out certain traits that can help you know if you are losing yourself with time and your are unaware about it as yet:

1. Always giving in to what your partner says
2. Where can I get some privacy!
3. Mental and emotional exploitation
4. A constant feeling of partner’s disloyalty (loyalty doesn’t only mean not sleeping with someone else, it has a mental factor involved too)
5. I miss my earlier self so much.
6. Regret for settling for someone not worth your emotions`
7. Burnout, anxiety, stress, I FEEL SO LOST!

It is very difficult to get over a relation which once meant a world to you. It leads to so much of loneliness and late night cryings, but isn’t that already happening if you’re in a toxic relation? In the process of preserving a beautiful connection, I want to ask you to not sacrifice your own self because in the long run, it will be like trading gold for rusted iron and there is no doubt about the fact that you will feel guilty for doing this to yourself. I am not against love or anything, it is its fan base activities that alarm me. 

Be with the one who keeps you in love,
Not with someone who’s still confused after years, 
Leave the one who is still treating you as on option, 
The one still complaining, 
Still not able to take out time for you, 
Still demanding, 
Still doubting, 
Still going back and forth to exes,
Still suddenly ghosting,
Still asking for another chance to not fuck up.
The forever still need to be left still right where they are. No grudges, but just let the losers be at bay.
It’s one lifetime asking you to just live and fall in love with yourself first. Appreciate your own beauty, your kindness, your urge to spread love and just do it without depending on any second party. Unless you don’t know what you want, you won’t have what you need. You are the one and you’re the only one who you need to feel this whole. Get your worth carved in your head, respect yourself, respect others who want to love you for being yourself. Love never hurts, always remember that. Let your past not scare you to fall again. Forget falling, go ahead and DIVE in love! Not everyone is your ex, you know. Don’t give pain, but don’t take pain either.
To hell with the jerks who go around damaging people who love them, but can you be the one who just can’t be damaged? 
Madhvi Panchal
I’m happy to bring value to you readers! You can follow my work on Instagram : @madhvi_

8 thoughts on “In Love Until..”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *